It was another “year-in-country” or
“Tam biet” [good bye] party and Wade Hamlin was knee wobbling shit-faced.
He sat slumped over the mess bar staring into a half-empty glass of Canadian
and water. The cigarette dangling out the corner of his mouth had burned
down to the filter. As he started to speak the long gray ash, which had
been hanging precariously, dropped into his drink. Mumbling to himself
he pulled the butt from his cracked lips and ground the remnants in a brass
shell-casing ashtray.
“Damn it! Here I am trying to deal with
a delicate personal crisis and I ruined a dose of Doctor Feelgood…I oughta’
be shot in the short curlies!” Glancing questionably at me, his sunken
eyes reflected the hurt and turmoil within. “Jesus H Christ, why,
why did I open that goddamn letter from that cheating, cold-hearted, money-stealing
bitch?”
Wade not waiting for a reply slid
the glass across the bar to Joe Tanner whose night it was to duty bar-tend,
“I screwed up my drink Joe, please pour me another. Easy on the water I
got some serious problems of the heart to deal with. My Sea-pappy, Eddy
here, has been listening to me whimper and moan since mail call, so top
him off, he probably needs it…”
Wade gave a long sigh, played
with his fresh drink and in his drunkenness began to ramble, “Joe, old
Eddy here has had me under his wing for 300 days tomorrow…he didn't think
I knew it, but I did and I appreciate his concern and guidance. Did you
know we came over on the same flight? Yep, this was my first overseas assignment
after OCS. Guess he saw I needed a father figure… right, Ed?” Showing concern,
I nodded.
“Yep, 300 days ago we were flying
across the Big Blue. I was in love and excited about my first great adventure!
I know I bored Ed to tears talking about my gal, my future plans and showing
photos. Shit, now its all down the frigging tubes. Think I’ll go jump in
some rice paddy and drown my dumb pitiful ass!”
A game of Liar's dice was making
its way down the row of happy-hour revelers. The loser, per house rules
buys the bar a round. John Miller, new in country sitting on Wade’s left,
carefully peeked under the cup smiled and said, “Wade, there are three
aces and a pair of ducks.” Wade, without looking pushed the cup to me saying,
“Eddy, three aces and a pair of treys.”
I leaned down, shielded the cup
from view and peeked under…there were four aces and a five. Did, I want
to stick my buddy Lonesome Lou Elliot with the tab? He along with the infamous
“Boom-boom” Bennett had seats on the “Big-bird with the Golden-tail” [Braniff]
in the morning...should I ruin his last evening in Nam?
As a farewell gesture I decided
to give him a slight out. With a sheepish grin, I slowly slid the cup towards
him, “Lou, old Straight-arrow here declares, “Four aces and a four!” He
looked me in the eye, “Eddy my boy yooou are lying through your pearly
whites…ain’t no way, Jose! Four aces my ass!” With an exaggerated flair,
Lou lifted the cup skyward and moaned, “Ooh, you stuck it in me…what a
buddy!”
I slapped him on the back, “Hey,
I gave you an out, but I know you did it so you could buy your bunkies
a farewell drink before going home.” Someone yelled, “Let's all show our
deep appreciation to Lonesome Lou, the last of the big Saigon “Dong” spenders
for this next round of cheer!” In unison the bar sang out, “THANKS ASSHOLE!”
Ooh-rahs and laughter followed.
Above the bar, equally spaced
along its length, were twelve brass hat hooks. Each labeled with a month
of the year. Strings of silver-chained dog tags hanging from the hooks
reflected those who had gone before. They glittered in the crude bar lights
reflecting an aura not unlike those of some mirrored ballrooms. The dog-tags
were part of the Tam biet ritual held just before bar closing at 2200 hours
each night. The ritual required each of those returning stateside to dance
the length of the bar and return, setting in motion the row of tag chains
as they maneuvered among the bottles, glasses and gauntlet of trouser tuggers.
The reverberating tags would chime a
pleasant metallic strain as the dancers shook hands with each man, removed
their dog tags, kissed them and ceremoniously hung the chain on the appropriate
month's hook…thus closing the bar. As we went to our bunks, I promised
Lou and Boom-boom, I would drive them to Tan Son Nhut at 0500…but first,
we needed to get broken-hearted Wade to his sack.
Returning to Headquarters after seeing
my friends off on the “Freedom-bird”, the Da Nang Project Officer asked
if anyone had seen Hamlin. I covered, saying he was not feeling well last
evening, perhaps he had gone to sick call…I would check on him. I chuckled
to myself; old Wade was surly suffering from a self-inflicted case of commode
huggin’ influenza! I knew damn well that he was still in his bunk, but
I was somewhat worried as I had never seen the youngster so despondent
or wasted. If I hadn't gone to Tan Son Nhut so early, I would have rolled
him out at reveille.
As Wade had mentioned at the bar, we
had come over on the same stretch 707. Young and full of vinegar he bent
my ear through the entire grueling flight. I didn't mind it, as it helped
take my mind off the long flight, what lay ahead and my cramped aching
legs. He described in minute detail of falling in love with a girl from
college. Her name was Mary Ellen, a shapely brunette from Chicago. He lamented
of meeting the families, becoming engaged, planning a wedding and having
a big family. She worked for IBM and they were pooling their money to buy
a new home on his return from Vietnam and finishing his Reserve active
duty. He had allotted his entire salary except his combat-pay to their
account. They promised to write everyday and vowed to be true. I smiled,
when you are “twenty-something” life is a wondrous thing, and love is not
yet jaded…
Wade reeking of booze and cigarettes
was still in his skivvies. He was sprawled out on his back across his bunk,
feet dangling in the heap of dirty green utilities, pistol belt and boots
scattered about on the floor. He had been crying to the point his chest
was still heaving in uncontrollable spasms. Ten months of Mary's correspondence
was strewn across the bunk. Postmarks, lipstick and cute little smiley
things punctuated many of the white and pastel envelopes. Some were neatly
grouped in string wrapped bundles.
For sometime, he had apparently been
reading selected letters, letting the pages fall as they may. Without acknowledging
my presence, he passed the crumpled letter he held to me. It was the one
he had received the day before. The letter, some six pages long boiled-down
to this: Soon after Wade left for Vietnam, Mary began going out after work
with her co-workers for a few drinks, which became a regular occurrence.
An associate, a handsome man about town soon overwhelmed her with his persistence
and charm.
Being lonesome and vulnerable, they
began an affair. He moved into her apartment…parties and fancy weekend
getaways followed; they led the high life. Soon the joint account was emptied.
To maintain the elaborate lifestyle, she needed Wade’s allotment to continue.
To ensure that it did, she kept up the farce by writing him more frequently,
with ever-increasing expressions of passion and eroticism. Her lover dumped
her two weeks before she wrote the letter. She was three months pregnant…
I carefully folded the stained pages
and hesitantly handed it back to Wade. Seeing the helpless concern in my
face…madness filled his eyes.
Screaming in woeful gasps he turned
in a heartbeat reaching for the pistol. I dove on top of him, grasping
the gun barrel and wrenching it away! It was a short struggle, for in reality,
it was a desperate cry for help. He rolled over, dropped to the floor and
drew himself into a fetal position, his body convulsing with guttural sobs.
A broken, despondent young man, he retreated within himself. Wade was returned
to the States…
“Sixty-four days and a wake-up” later,
I too, did the Tam biet dance of farewell! I strutted shamelessly down
the bar setting in motion the row of symbolic silvery chimes of those who
had preceded me. The smiling faces of comrades, who had shared those times,
those treasured moments, are etched forever in the deep recesses of a sailor's
heart.
I went on to other duty assignments,
never looking back, riding the crest of my prime, cherishing each fleeting
moment. Life's brief season in the sun was a wonder beyond words…Oh, to
live it all once again! Now, as I traverse these golden years, the rhythmic
metallic tinkle of some distant porch chine will drift across the warm
summer expanse and for a brief magical moment, I will be transfixed in
time… “Tam biet” |